Monday, April 28, 2014

When The Voices of Comparison Make You Feel Small by Alecia Simersky {Comparison Series}


I'm please to have my online friend Alecia Simersky as my guest today in the "Comparing Ourselves to Others...and what it does to us" series. Alecia and I met last year through Holley Gerth's God-sized Dream Team, although I think I was already visiting her blog before that. Alecia shares and writes to encourage others in their walk with Christ at There's Something Different. Please make time to visit her, and make her feel welcome here with some comment love. ~ Laura

I had a different post written. In fact it was completely finished and ready to send and then I felt led to start over and write this one instead.

Recently my head and heart started looking over at what others were doing, and the voices in my head started, she does it so much better than you, might as well stop now, and on and on they went. I’m usually pretty good at knowing when I’m under attack and even this time I knew, only I made the mistake of letting my heart dwell on the words…the lies.

What if it’s true? Maybe I should quit now, I’m not qualified or good enough or talented enough, maybe there really is no point to all this writing.

So the comparison started.

What makes their words so much better than mine?

Their blog is professionally done and probably cost a fortune; mine will never look like that.

Uh oh, this post didn’t get as many likes, shares, comment as her’s. Maybe I’m right; I’m really not all that good at this writing thing.

I pulled away from my blog and started to feel smaller and smaller. I started wondering if my voice even mattered.

I was comparing my skills, my abilities, my numbers with others and completely lost focus of why I started writing to begin with, and why I tell others to stick with it through the discouragement.

It’s not about me. It’s about Jesus and doing what you feel called to do even when you feel completely incapable.

I take my eyes off what I know to be true and put them on myself and my abilities—which of course fall short—and down I go into the slimy pit of self-pity, frustration and comparison.

Thank you God for holding the hand of the needy and not giving up on us when we forget whose we are and the plans you have for our lives.

I see the lies for what they are now, the enemy prowling around looking for my weak spot and attacking. When I made the choice to dwell on the words instead of casting them out the moment they popped into my head he knew he had me.

The truth is there will always be others who do things better than me. Always.

But it doesn’t mean I should give up or not even try.

When I compare, I take away from the good things I have going for me in my life. Instead of seeing all of my gifts, I see what I lack.

Without God constantly, and patiently, reminding me over and over that in Him I lack nothing and through Him I am complete, I would have given up a long time ago. Every story may not always connect or be shared by thousands of people, but the one or two it does connect with matter just as much.

And I’m making peace with that.

Father, forgive me for not always appreciating the life you’ve given me and for taking my eyes off you and putting them on me. Help me to be content and know to the very depths of my soul that you have good plans for me too. Amen.

*****

Alecia is a Southerner by birth (and grace) and gypsy by marriage (she’s moved 7 times in the last 13 years.) She writes to encourage Christians to live differently because of the grace we’ve been shown through Jesus. She has a heart to encourage others to get off the rocky shore of self-doubt and sail into the life Christ has waiting for them.  

Alecia is quiet by nature, introverted, quirky and fiercely loyal (she becomes Mama Bear when someone messes with her people). She will share her heart, story, struggles, and her pain...just don’t ask her to share her chocolate! You can connect with her at her blog There’s Something Different, Twitter, or Facebook.

Linking up with Sharing His Beauty and Soli Deo Gloria
                                                                                                 

16 comments:

  1. Oh, my- I've lived HERE before- "When I made the choice to dwell on the words instead of casting them out the moment they popped into my head he knew he had me." And am so glad for your reminder today that it's not about MY WORDS but HIS! Love your heart, Alecia

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    1. Thanks, Alicia. It's so important isn't it to not let those words linger around isn't it? Thanks for your visit.

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  2. Thank you for this encouraging article. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

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  3. Oh what a beautiful post and even more special to me after sharing the weekend laughing together!! Love you friend!

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    1. What an incredible weekend! Love you too!

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  4. Thank you Alecia for your honesty. I have so been there, and in many ways still am. I came to a place recently where all I was doing was comparing my writing to others it and caused me to withdraw and become introspective. As I wrote in my post this morning, it's our job to show up. The rest is up to God. Blessings!

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    1. Hey Barbie! It's always nice to for someone to come alongside you and say "me too."
      How right you are...we just need to show up!

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  5. Alecia, thank you for your honesty. Oh, how comparison can steal our joy. I need to step back often when I can tell the enemy is gaining momentum in taking me down I path I don't want to go. In those moments I say this to myself over and over, "It’s not about me. It’s about Jesus." {Hugs}

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    1. Hey Beth! Yes, it steals our joy every time!! That's a good saying, I need to say it more to myself :)

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  7. Appreciate your honest heart my friend.

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  8. Laura, nice to meet you. I'm hopping over from Alecia's site. Alecia, thanks for your honesty here. We all wrestle with this. You are not alone, and you can do it! Keep writing, blogging, and do it all to the best of your abilities, as worship to the Master Artist! :) At least that's what I'm striving to do too.

    Blessings to you both, Laura and Alecia,
    Jennifer Dougan
    www.jenniferdougan.com

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  9. Amen, girl. This line,especially, I have found to be so true: "Instead of seeing all of my gifts, I see what I lack." Here's to turning full face to God!!

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  10. Alecia, this is such a great example of how the lies can infiltrate our thinking! Thank you for this firsthand look at it and what we can do :)

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  11. Alecia, I relate and appreciate your courage, honesty and swinging it all around again back to Him. In His Grace, Dawn

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts!